Advice from a somewhat reformed
I don’t consider myself a lazy cat, but there’s only so much pouncing and hunting a girl can do own her own with something I just found on the floor. I think I can see what looks like a really fun toy hanging from a pole standing in the corner of the den. The problem is that I certainly can’t work it by myself! I need my Mom to show me what it’s all about. Can’t she see that I’m bored stiff? For Heavens Sake! I need some serious exercise. I swear I think I might have put on a pound or two this winter. I don’t want to look like one of those “tubby tabbies” who can’t even reach their rear ends to keep clean. How can I get my Mom off the couch to play with me before I go nuts with boredom, or worse, turn into a blimp?
Signed Play with Me
Dear Play with Me - or maybe - Dear Bored Blimp,
Girlfriend you need to get control of this situation! There’s no reason for you to go into a coma from lack of stimulation or worse, develop a chubby, out-of-shape body like my sister “Fatty Paddy”. It’s embarrassing to watch her coming down the hall. You better step aside or you might get knocked over by her swinging belly!
Go over to that corner, grab that toy (I hope for your sake, it’s a flying feather one) and take it straight to your Mom. I don’t care if she’s already preparing for her sleepy time. You can drag it right up on to the bed. You have to move it to wherever she is! Then demonstrate how irresistible and adorable you can be as you show her you want to play. A cute or sad face always helps along with a demanding Meow!
Now when she dangles the toy at you, make sure you show off big time! I hope you are still in somewhat good shape. You are going to need to do some impressive acrobatic leaps and moves to show how happy you are that she’s got her nose out of the TV. You have to be silly and make her laugh. You can entertain way better than whatever program she’s watching. Now don’t be disappointed if your Mom gets one of those laser light toys. She will still be relaxing on the couch, but don’t you worry girlfriend, you will get your exercise! Even with my superior athletic abilities, I have yet to catch that red dot!